Are You Searching for Your Purpose in the Wrong Places?
For years I thought purpose was about being good at things other people valued, the roles where I felt validated and approved.
But underneath that drive was a scarcity mindset and a whole lot of people-pleasing.
I didn’t back myself because I was frozen in the fear of getting it wrong. What if failing meant I let down the very people who relied on me?
And deep down, I carried this quiet belief: because I couldn’t figure things out on my own, I must not be smart enough.
That belief kept me small for years.
Beyond Purpose: What Really Runs the Show
We hear a lot of talk about “finding your purpose.” And yes, it matters. But I don’t believe purpose is the whole story.
Finding your purpose is only part of the journey. Just as important is uncovering the patterns and survival habits that quietly hold you back. Because if you don’t see them, they keep running in the background and calling the shots.
Have you ever noticed yourself staying busy in ways that look productive, but don’t actually move you forward?
The Weight of Responsibility
For a long time, I told myself that taking time for me would be selfish.
I was heavily relied on in my roles and responsibilities, and stepping away felt impossible. So I stayed in performance mode, working harder, proving myself, never letting anyone down.
It felt safer to keep performing than to back myself.
Do you ever feel like you’re holding everything together, but at the cost of yourself?
Getting Honest: What Actually Fuels You
Here’s what I’ve learned: finding your purpose isn’t about waiting for someone else’s permission.
It starts with paying attention to your natural energy, the things that feel effortless, that light you up, that you do without thinking.
Not because someone needs you to. Not because anyone is watching. But because it feels like you.
What are those moments for you when you feel most alive, even if nobody else notices?
The New You Requires New Experiences
Purpose doesn’t ask you to stay who you’ve always been. It calls you into something bigger.
The new version of you will always require new experiences, stretching beyond what’s comfortable, trying things you’ve never done before.
But to reach that, you first have to notice the habits that keep you stuck in performance mode.
Where are you still proving yourself, instead of backing yourself?
Superpowers, Growth, and Grey Areas
I believe we all have three parts to explore:
Our superpowers: the gifts and strengths we’ve always carried.
Our growth edges :the new experiences the next version of us will require.
Our grey areas: the default patterns and performances that keep us busy but not truly fulfilled.
When you uncover these, purpose shifts from being some abstract “thing out there” to being a grounded way of living and leading.
The Invitation
Finding your purpose isn’t about chasing titles, proving yourself, or waiting for the “right time.” It’s about noticing what’s already inside you and having the courage to let go of what no longer serves.
It’s about leading without leaving yourself behind.
Your purpose is waiting. The real question is: what do you need to shed to make space for it?
Ready to Take This Further?
If this blog has you thinking about your own purpose and the patterns that hold you back, I’ve created something to help.
My free guide, 5 Tips to Align Your Life to What Truly Matters to YOU, gives you practical ways to start putting this into action. Simple, clear steps to shift out of performance mode and into a life that actually feels aligned.
