She’s Not Who She Use To Be (And Neither Are You)

I’m learning not to keep people stuck in who they used to be.

Including myself.

It’s easy to box someone into a version of themselves they’ve already outgrown.

To define them by an old chapter.

To judge them by their lowest moment.

To speak about them like they haven’t changed, even when they’ve been quietly rebuilding for years.

But people do grow.

Not always in loud, obvious ways.

More often in small, unglamorous choices.

The kind no one claps for.

They start showing up differently.

They own their patterns.

They try.

What We Miss in Others

I’ve seen women who once avoided hard conversations now lead them with clarity and heart.

People who used to run from discomfort now sit in it.

They know what’s theirs to carry, and what’s not.

And every time I work with women at a turning point

Whether we’re in the arena with a horse,

Unpacking their personal profile,

Or just sitting in real, raw conversation with other women

I see it.

That flicker.

That moment of truth.

That meeting between who they’ve been and who they’re ready to become.

Not the version that’s been surviving.

But the one who’s been waiting for space.

To breathe.

To choose.

To lead life differently.

What We Miss in Ourselves

But here’s something we don’t talk about enough:

We do this to ourselves, too.

We keep ourselves stuck in who we used to be.

We assume we’re still her

The one who fawned to keep the peace

The one who couldn’t say no

The one who ran herself ragged and called it resilience

Even when we’ve started making different choices

Even when we’ve grown in quiet ways no one saw

Even when we’re no longer tolerating what we used to

We don’t always update our own self-image.

We outgrow the old version of us

But forget to let her go

Becoming Is Allowed

So if you’re in the thick of your own becoming

Resetting

Unlearning

Rebuilding

Don’t let anyone hold you to the version of you, just because that's where they still want to sit

And don’t keep doing it to yourself either

You’re allowed to change

You’re allowed to stop performing the version of you that made everyone else comfortable

You’re allowed to become

Because most people aren’t stuck

They’re just not being seen for who they are now

Let’s stop missing who people are becoming

Including ourselves

Just because we stopped looking.